So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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