is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
