My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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