I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
