I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize