And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
