I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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