Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
