Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
