Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
