Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
