I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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