they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
