Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize