I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
