Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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