So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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