I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
