is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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