508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
