Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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