How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
