Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
