This girl is more easily done than said...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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