I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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