worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
