Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
