I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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