i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
