So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
