I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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