she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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