Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
