My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
