She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
