dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
