Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
