3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
