dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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