I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
