Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
