it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You made out with two different species that night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
