I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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