When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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