He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize