is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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