If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
