he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
