On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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