Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
