Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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