So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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