i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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