Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
