You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize