Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
