i don't plan on having that self control this summer
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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