Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize