i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
