Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
