you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is Oprah even human
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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