i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
