i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
