I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
