Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
