We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
