what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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