it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
